Before I start rolling, a quick recap of last week:
"You guys all suck."
"Wait... what?!"
And that's what you missed on The Glee Project.
Alright, so Robbie came in to tell everyone this week's theme, which was Vulnerability, and everyone jumped up and cheered like he said "FREE BEER" or something. Calm down, bros. We all know you all will be crying like nine year olds by the end of this episode.
"Oh... you like that?"
"I can do anything, bitch. Don't you know that by now?"
Robbie tells them their homework song, and Charlie's like,
"All I hear in my head is dubstep... all the time."
No, Sir Charles. "My Life Would Suck Without You" by Kelly Clarkson. Get wit it. So Robbie goes on to say that there will be no choreography this week. THANK GOD. My eyes are still burning from last week. And, he says the guest mentor will be someone who "wrote the book on vulnerability".
"OMG! Chris Colfer wrote a book!"
Yes, he did, Abraham. If, by any SMALL chance, anyone didn't know that you're gay.... Trust me, they do now.
"My goal for this week is to keep doing what I've been doing. Make out with everybody here."
While they're deciding on lines for the homework assignment, I wanted to shoot myself. Mario, once again, picks a fight with someone. Clearly this group can't make decisions together. Assign the lines like you did on Season One! That was so much easier/less irritating.
"My competitive edge is sharp like a knife. And I will cut you with it to get what I want."
So Cory was the guest mentor for this episode, and I was kind of surprised. I knew before I watched this episode that it was going to be him, but still. When it comes to vulnerability on Glee, I would've expected someone like Chris or even Naya; people whose characters that have underwent serious breakthroughs. I absolutely love Cory, but I think they could have went with someone else.
The homework assignment was aight. I felt like some of the contenders' performances were a little forced. Nellie won, obvi. I mean, look at that emotion! Beautiful. If I were Cory, I would've picked her, too. And did anyone else find it a little unsettling how Aylin was holding Ali? No? Just me?
Ok, moving on...
Since there was no choreography this week, the beautiful and talented Erik White came in to discuss bullying, which is the central idea for the music video, "Everybody Hurts" by REM.
He asked them to talk about their experiences with bullying.
Everybody cried. The end.
Everyone killed it in the recording studio; except for Ali, (according to Nikki). But don't worry my booboo, I still gotz mad love for you!
"I'm way too giddy to get all emotional and shit."
Meanwhile, at the video shoot...
Ali's face here is PRICELESS! I think I'm in love. Will you marry me? I'd totez go straight for you, lady.
Blake, GET YA DIRTY HANDS OFF MY MANZ! But yeah, good acting. I think they all secretly hate each other. The acting is TOO real.
Lily is one fierce bitch. The whole video was pretty awesome. I was trying to find a good link so I could post it here, but I can't! Sorry, kids! Now, onto the reveal of the bottom three and the last chance performances! EEEK!
Blake got called back, obviously, because the mentors fucking love him. I really don't get it. I'm not saying he's horrible or anything, but I still think most of them are better performers than him. I hope that he changes my mind at some point this season. Until then, STFU.
And why the hell was everybody gettin' all up on Charlie for taking Mario's walking stick at the shoot?
A) They used it in the video, soooo, wtf?
B) The theme for the video was "bullying", and a bully would totally do that.
C) Nobody yelled at Lily when she threw Aylin on the ground, and that's "dangerous", too.
Whatevz.
"Just so y'allz know, none o' y'allz is ready."
"What, bitch? Who you talkin' to?"
The bottom three: Lily Mae, Mario, and Charlie. WHY LILY?! Can anyone just show my girl some love, please?
Last chance performances.
Lily was first, and she sang "Mercy" by Duffy and ABSOLUTELY blew it out of the water. Bravo, Lily, bravo.
Charlie sang "Fix You" by Coldplay for his last chance performance. It was good. I think his timing and pitch were SLIGHTLY off, but no big deal. Ryan loved it, I guess that's what matters. I prefer Matthew Morrison's version.
And last, but not least, was Mario,
who sang "Somewhere Over The Rainbow". It was good, but once again, I prefer Matthew Morrison's version! No hate, all love.
And can these kids stop crying please? ENOUGH WITH THE TEARS! I get that everyone is super emotional and being on Glee is at stake, but c'mon! There's a fine line between vulnerability and weakness.
And Mario, bro. Stop being so self righteous! Damn, kid! You shouldn't point out other people's flaws just because you got called out. Even my boyfriend agrees!
"SHUTTTT UPPPPPPPP!"
And, in the end, Ryan still shocks me with how unpredictable he is.
Now everyone gets to keep holdin' on. Congratulations, bitches!
