Dance-(In)Ability

Before I begin, I must say that I was slightly disappointed with MOST of the contenders' performances this week on Dance-Ability. Of course, some were lacking LESS than others, but majority rules and pretty much everyone could have stepped their game up a few notches. I mean, if I had it my way, everyone would win and there would then be a new series based on Glee for all of the contenders to star in so I could watch them on TV forever, but this is real life, which is, well, a BITCH.

So let's take a look, shall we?

"I'm a spunky, bad-ass, Turkish Muslim."

First, good ol' Robert came in to tell everyone this week's theme, which was Dance-ability, and their homework assignment was "We Got The Beat".

"WHATTT?!? More Dancing?!?!"

Poor Tyler! This guy was probably thinking he was going to be sent home this week. Yes Tyler, you WILL have to dance your way on to Glee. Time to up your testosterone levels!

At least Wheels was pumped.

"I have the BEST idea for ME to do an awesome spinny thing while I sing my line!"

"No, bitch."

Mario was not into that idea because he had his own ideas for how he wanted to sing that same line. Everyone was arguing over who got what line, and who would choreograph, which is inevitable. It's a competition. The angst has to start somewhere! 

HOLD UP! Taryn was not about to have everyone bitch and moan. She put everyone in their place, and for good reason. Someone had to step and say what needed to be said. I thought she was gonna pull a Santana and go all Lima Heights on the room. Luckily for us, she didn't. 

Well, I definitely did not see that one coming. I wrote in a previous post that Taryn left because she "missed her mom". After doing some research, I learned there were two losses in her family that week. So Taryn, I wish you all of the luck in the world, and I am sure another great opportunity will arise. There is no debate that you are a fantastic performer. All the best, love.

Now, on to the homework assignment!

Samuel Larsen (one of my faves from TGP1) was the guest mentor for this assignment, and Aylin pretty much creamed her pants when he walked in the room.

"I'm having my first orgasm on national television, sorry Mom!"

I really loved their performance of "We Got The Beat", with a few minor exceptions. I loved Abraham mostly, though, and it is obvious I wasn't alone with this thought because he won the assignment.

Two words for you, Abe: "YES BITCH".

No, Blake. Just no.

I have nothing negative to say about my Michael. I could sing him praises ALL DAY, but I'm not going to do that. And Charlie, WTF?

Talk about being fierce, eh?

Well, Abraham, that fierceness is what made you WIN, boy! Keep it up, and don't doubt yourself. As soon as Samuel told you that you won, it was like you instantly doubted his decision because, in your opinion, other contenders are as good or better than you. I'm no performer, but my advice would be to own overy moment. When you do, you radiate fire, like your hair.

"I'm awesome, but they're awesome, too."

So modest!

Back in choreography, Zach made it pretty clear he didn't want anyone to do the "stupid wedding dance".

So, naturally,

"That's EXACTLY what I'm going to do".

Queen Abraham showin' off his skills.

Abe, let's get serious. Are you from Atlanta?

YESSSS BITTTCHHH.

In the recording studio, apparently a romance began to blossom between Charlie and Aylin. 

Little does Charlie know, Aylin will break his poor little heart.

"I didn't come here for a romance. I came here to make out with everyone. Oh yeah, I want to be on Glee, too".

The name of the game was Spin the Bottle at the video shoot for "Party Rock Anthem".

See, Charlie! What did I say?! Flirting with you and now already making out with Blake! Tisk tisk, Aylin.

"I'm going to fucking kill that motherfucker".

"OH MY GOD! ARE YOU SUCKING HIS SOUL OUT?"

Yes, Abraham. Yes she is. Haven't you heard about those spunky bad-ass Turkish Muslim chicks?

So, to shut up Charlie and his blatantly obvious jealousy, Aylin laid one on 'em.

"Now shut your mouth, Charlie."

Needless to say, Charlie was thrilled. Can I be honest? Was that like, his first kiss or something? He was reallllly excited about it and made it seem like everything in his world came together in that exact moment. I mean, more power to ya, brother. Aylin is kinda hot. But, for realz? You need to get laid, my man.

So, Abe had some trouble loosening up for the camera during his stand out in the music video. But if we're all being fair and honest, what would you expect? He was just given a lesson by Mr. Intensity, himself. Sam Larsen pretty much reinvented the word "intense", we all DID see season one, correct? I thought the end result of Abraham's work was just fine. 

"I'm too cool for this shit."

Lily, I don't know what the hell you're doing, but I like it. 

Michael can do no wrong in my eyes. Even when he makes silly faces. I really love this kid.

Aylin killed it in this video. Other than Michael, she was probably my top contender for this shoot as a whole. Her vocals, dancing, and acting skills really shined through for me. 

Is Lily from Atlanta, too?

Did anyone else notice the lesbian lovin' between Aylin and Lily? I know I did! Everyone loves some good girl or girl action. 

Although her dance skills are... scarce, I still have nothing but love for Nellie. Her goddess-like voice and her not-so-typical stage presence definitely make up for what she lacks in body rhythm. I'm really excited to see how far she goes in TGP.

And Michael, I'm not sure if I said this yet, but you are absolutely adorbz. I can't even. Oh yeah, hi Blake.

Ok, so this post has taken me hours to finish. I'm going to do a separate post for the reveal of the bottom three and the last chance performances. Hopefully I will start working on it tonight, and I will definitely have it up before the Vulnerability episode on Tuesday night! Thanks for reading and make sure you check back frequently and follow me on twitter @bobfoundGLEEK! Love y'allz!