Monday, August 6, 2012

The Lesbian Project

Who can play the most fierce and realistic lesbian without being placed in the bottom three?

"This week's theme is Lesbianacticalityabilityness."

"I will gladly take any opportunity to ruin the lives of my family still living in Turkey."

Let's reflect for a moment. Aylin (who I think just might be a Turkish Muslim, but I don't know where I have ever heard that before), has already made out with how many cast members? A ton. From what I remember, she has already crossed the lesbian bridge when she made out with Lily in the "Party Rock Anthem" video.

"This week's challenge is for you all to pair yourselves up with who you would be most likely to sleep with in a drunken haze."

"I'm pretty sure I already tried to have sex with Blake during callbacks week."

"Me too, girl."

So, apparently every girl left in the competition wants to bang Blake. I'm still trying to figure out WHY, though. Call me crazy, but I don't think he's all that tasty. Anywho, their homework assignment was to all pair up and perform "More Than Words" by Extreme.

"Lily, we should make out on the floor and not tell ANYBODY. We'll show those bastards how lesbionic we are."


This homework assignment was pretty good. Vocally, it was perfect. The acting slightly creeped me out. I think their assignment should have been "Who can effectively give Darren Criss an awkward boner in the least amount of time?"

These bitches are NAILING the "Darren Criss Boner Experiment"!


I'm just going to throw this out there without fear of judgment. Darren Criss's eyebrows turn me on. Alright, I got that off my chest. Let's fast forward to the video.

This week's video was "We Found Love" by Rihanna. I actually hate Rihanna, but this is her one song that I do like. Thanks Glee Project! Blake won the homework, so he got to choose his partner for the video. He ended up taking the easy way out by picking Ali (who he did the homework with). Lily was paired with Michael, which was one of the highlights of my fucking life. The mentors has the best idea EVER: pair up the devout Christian girl and the Turkish Muslim girl and tell them to portray realistic lesbians. SOUNDS PERFECT. 

"Just play around with me. Have fun with me."

BAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHAHAHAHAHAHA. Clearly, Aylin is fixing to be the submissive bottom in this relationship. I fucking died when she said that. Maybe their acting wasn't perfect, but at least their heads were in the game. 

As it turns out, Lily was the most realistic lesbian because she wasn't placed in the bottom three! I don't think this was completely fair, though, because Ali did not have to play a fake lesbian. Oh wellz. Congrats, Lily Mae, on your Lesbian Project win!

1 comment:

  1. Why do you assume Ali's heterosexual? She and Dani clearly have a special closeness that has made them inseparable across four states for the past two months, and Ali was absolutely devastated when Dani was eliminated (read her blog on Oxygen for episode 2x02). Ali said during sexuality week that Dani is the sexiest contender, to which Dani responded that "the adoration is mutual." When Ali had trouble with the slushies in Fearlessness, Dani said if she were there she would have built her a fire. Ali's response to Lily saying everyone has a crush on Blake was "Everyone has a crush on Blake? LOL!" You shouldn't assume it was easier for Ali to act like she was attracted to Blake than for the other girls to act like they were attracted to one another.