Friday, June 29, 2012

Charlin Lubayramoglu

Well, we all know that the theme for this week was Sexuality. And, naturally, Aylin was way more excited than anyone else there. Why, you ask?

She LOVES to give her mother heart attacks. 

After being told the theme for the week, we all saw Aylin's reaction. But Charlie? What are you doing, brother? This isn't Happy Feet 2.

Oh well, you're still hot, and you kind of look like the love child of John Cusack and Robert Pattinson. I can get down with that. After their not-so-sexy dance rehearsal, they were directed to the choir room to sing "I Wanna Sex You Up" for Naya Fucking Rivera. Charlie won the assignment, but basically because he was beat-boxing, and that really gets Naya all hot and bothered. Way to go, friend! If Naya called me sexy, I'd be really excited, too.

"Hey girl, you tryna fuck?"

"I'd rather not have to box the Muslim chick, but thanks!"

So, Charlie wins the homework assignment, and all Charlie's thinking is:

I'll let that screenshot speak for itself, k? So, let's move on to the recording studio. This week's song was a mash-up of "Moves Like Jagger" and "Milkshake". In the booth, Charlie was seeking sexual inspiration. Naturally, he turned to Aylin. Mrs. Preggo was not too thrilled with his "lack of professionalism" in the booth, where he was eye-fucking Aylin the whole time. I, personally, didn't think it was a huge deal. But, this wouldn't be The Glee Project if the mentors didn't press the panic button and scold the contenders like small children every time they deem something as "inappropriate" or "unprofessional". 

"You tryna fuck, too?"

"Sure. But if you get me in trouble, you're dead."

Charlie told Aylin how Nikki bitched him out in the booth. 

"This is so embarrassing."

"You're cute, but leave me alone till one of us is eliminated."

Needless to say, their on-screen romance is quite scandalous. I mean, there's now a Team Charlin, or Team Chaylin, whatevz. People eat this shit for breakfast. It makes for good reality television, though!

Even though Charlie tried to take over the video shoot, his and Aylin's performances were up to par. I think they both did a fantastic job, and both brought all the sex that they could conjure up. We ALL know Aylin is bursting at the seams with sex appeal. 

I think that most of the female contenders get left behind in terms of vocals, because Nellie's voice is so original and different from everyone else's. I really love Nellie, but I will also pay tribute to Aylin in this video. I think that out of everyone, (in my unbiased mind), Aylin really exemplified "sexy" in this video. Her vocals were tremendously powerful, as well. So, congratulations, Aylin, you have earned my official seal of approval. I'm not saying I didn't love you before this, I'm just saying I think you're really hot.

After the video, there is virtually no air-time for Aylin. So, let's focus on Sir Charles and his last chance performance. 

Charlie was assigned "I Get A Kick Out Of You" written by Cole Porter, and made famous by Frank Sinatra, which is a GREAT JAM. 

And, he tore this song a new asshole. Absolutely fantastic. It really is a great song for him and the fact that he had never heard it before this performance blows my mind. I can't even imagine how difficult that must be. His little shout out to Ryan was quite adorable, as well. I think I was kind of harsh on Charlie last week regarding his rendition of "Fix You", which wasn't horrible. I didn't exactly give it four stars, either. In retrospect, it wasn't all bad. I've grown to love Charlie over the past few weeks, and I'm excited for the future of Charlin. I'm really glad you both get to stick around. BRAVO, BITCHES!

Wednesday, June 27, 2012

"This is my favorite part of the song..."

The theme for the week is sexuality, and,

"I think math is sexy, which is a problem."

Michael, I have no problem with anything you find sexy. Even you saying "sexy" is sexy. When is the Shirtless-ality episode?

And if you keep wearing vests and the color purple, I may die. I don't think I stand alone when I say that I pretty much think Michael epitomizes sexuality. Maybe it's his uncertainty in the matter, the sense of naivety he radiates, or his subtle shyness. I think he knows what he's doing and he is trying to fool everyone. Not me, Michael. I know what you're trying to do!  And if you're secretly hinting that you want to have a one on one cuddle session with me: MESSAGE RECEIVED. 

"I wanted to pick Michael, but I'm scared to be alone with him... for obvious reasons."

Yea girl, me too. But I would take the opportunity, that's the difference. Pshhht.

So, in the studio, where they were recording the "Moves Like Jagger/ Milkshake" mash-up, Michael was having trouble focusing on the lyrics. 

"Nikki, I'm trying to focus, but Mario is making me fucking tone deaf."

Calm down, buddy! You'll be fine! Maybe....

"Actually, can you just leave?"


"Shit. Was I letting my crazy hormones cloud my judgement again?"

YES BITCH! And I don't mean that in the way that I usually do. Sorry 'bout it.

Ok, so once again, I know I am not only speaking for myself when I say that the "Moves/Milkshake" mash-up was fantastic. I think everyone brought the sex, with an exception or two. Mario: there was nothing sexual about your performance, but this post isn't about you. I may or may not address that later, if you ever give me something to work with. And Tyler, honey... I got nothing from you either, but your circumstances are different. I applaud you for giving it all that you had. 

I used this photo in my last post, but forrealz. Look at that face. If that doesn't scream "SEX", then I don't know what does. Ok, so let's move on to the reveal of the bottom three. I screamed at the TV like ten times. I was so shocked. Alright, so they were:

Tyler, Michael, and Charlie.

Was I the ONLY one who was so taken back that I almost got up and left the room? Tyler, I understand. Charlie, I get that, too, because of his shenanigans in the booth and at the shoot. But, Michael? NO FUCKING WAY. Mario could have totally replaced him in the bottom three if we're basing our decisions on sexuality. That was the theme of this episode, no? 

Whatever, moving on....

They chose "Lucky" by Jason Mraz for Michael's last chance performance song. I think that is a great song for him, but it's a song I absolutely despise. When Chord and Diana sang that at Glee Live last summer, that was when I got up for a beer. I'll put it that way. 

Now, on to his last chance performance, which was a trainwreck, to say the least. It kind of reminded me of when Damian sang "Jessie's Girl" for Ryan last season. And we all remember that, I'm sure. I want to be Jessie's girl, too. Actually I want to be Ryan's wife, but who's keeping track, anyway?

I've noticed that these two hour practice segments sort of turn into an Oprah spin-off. If anything, it turns into a two hour reflection of their whole lives. Calm down, kids. Although you're doing a lot less crying than in Vulnerability week. But, that speaks for itself.

Let's recap, shall we?

Starts off beautifully, and I wish I could say that's how it ends, too. But I must speak the truth. Although he forgot the words and pulled a Damian, the cute factor really brought up his chances, I think. As bad as it was, he was eye-fucking me and/or Ryan the whole time. I'm sure that is why they kept him around. 

Until next time, folks! Follow me on twitter, @bobfoundGLEEK. Also, head over to my Facebook page, and "like" it! THANKS!

Friday, June 22, 2012

Moves Like Nellie

WHOA, NELLIE. Seriously! I watched this video, and I was all like, "WHO IS THAT GIRL?!" Nellie made an unabridged transformation from vulnerability week to sexuality week, and the proof is in this video. From her "I'm terrified to make a fool of myself" rant, to her distinguished sexual awakening, Nellie proves that there are more sides to her than we may have thought.

Take a look.

Right? Am I still gay? Yes. Yes I am. Thanks, Michael, for making that clear.

He had the best view, too.

Pssst, girl. Don't we all?

Reason #459896789 why I love Lily Mae.

I also really loved Ali, Aylin, and Shanna in this video. Yes, I said Shanna.

Now that's sex. Thanks, kids! Keep checkin' back and make sure you follow me on twitter!

Wednesday, June 20, 2012

Keep Holding On

Before I start rolling, a quick recap of last week:

"You guys all suck."

"Wait... what?!"

And that's what you missed on The Glee Project.

Alright, so Robbie came in to tell everyone this week's theme, which was Vulnerability, and everyone jumped up and cheered like he said "FREE BEER" or something. Calm down, bros. We all know you all will be crying like nine year olds by the end of this episode.

"Oh... you like that?"

"I can do anything, bitch. Don't you know that by now?"

Robbie tells them their homework song, and Charlie's like,

"All I hear in my head is dubstep... all the time."

No, Sir Charles. "My Life Would Suck Without You" by Kelly Clarkson. Get wit it. So Robbie goes on to say that there will be no choreography this week. THANK GOD. My eyes are still burning from last week. And, he says the guest mentor will be someone who "wrote the book on vulnerability". 

"OMG! Chris Colfer wrote a book!"

Yes, he did, Abraham. If, by any SMALL chance, anyone didn't know that you're gay.... Trust me, they do now.

"My goal for this week is to keep doing what I've been doing. Make out with everybody here."

While they're deciding on lines for the homework assignment, I wanted to shoot myself. Mario, once again, picks a fight with someone. Clearly this group can't make decisions together. Assign the lines like you did on Season One! That was so much easier/less irritating. 

"My competitive edge is sharp like a knife. And I will cut you with it to get what I want."

So Cory was the guest mentor for this episode, and I was kind of surprised. I knew before I watched this episode that it was going to be him, but still. When it comes to vulnerability on Glee, I would've expected someone like Chris or even Naya; people whose characters that have underwent serious breakthroughs. I absolutely love Cory, but I think they could have went with someone else.

The homework assignment was aight. I felt like some of the contenders' performances were a little forced. Nellie won, obvi. I mean, look at that emotion! Beautiful. If I were Cory, I would've picked her, too. And did anyone else find it a little unsettling how Aylin was holding Ali? No? Just me? 

Ok, moving on...

Since there was no choreography this week, the beautiful and talented Erik White came in to discuss bullying, which is the central idea for the music video, "Everybody Hurts" by REM. 

He asked them to talk about their experiences with bullying.

Everybody cried. The end.

Everyone killed it in the recording studio; except for Ali, (according to Nikki). But don't worry my booboo, I still gotz mad love for you! 

"I'm way too giddy to get all emotional and shit."

Meanwhile, at the video shoot...

Ali's face here is PRICELESS! I think I'm in love. Will you marry me? I'd totez go straight for you, lady.

Blake, GET YA DIRTY HANDS OFF MY MANZ! But yeah, good acting. I think they all secretly hate each other. The acting is TOO real.

Lily is one fierce bitch. The whole video was pretty awesome. I was trying to find a good link so I could post it here, but I can't! Sorry, kids! Now, onto the reveal of the bottom three and the last chance performances! EEEK!

Blake got called back, obviously, because the mentors fucking love him. I really don't get it. I'm not saying he's horrible or anything, but I still think most of them are better performers than him. I hope that he changes my mind at some point this season. Until then, STFU.

And why the hell was everybody gettin' all up on Charlie for taking Mario's walking stick at the shoot?
A) They used it in the video, soooo, wtf?
B) The theme for the video was "bullying", and a bully would totally do that.
C) Nobody yelled at Lily when she threw Aylin on the ground, and that's "dangerous", too.


"Just so y'allz know, none o' y'allz is ready."

"What, bitch? Who you talkin' to?"

The bottom three: Lily Mae, Mario, and Charlie. WHY LILY?! Can anyone just show my girl some love, please?

Last chance performances.

Lily was first, and she sang "Mercy" by Duffy and ABSOLUTELY blew it out of the water. Bravo, Lily, bravo.

Charlie sang "Fix You" by Coldplay for his last chance performance. It was good. I think his timing and pitch were SLIGHTLY off, but no big deal. Ryan loved it, I guess that's what matters. I prefer Matthew Morrison's version.

And last, but not least, was Mario,

who sang "Somewhere Over The Rainbow". It was good, but once again, I prefer Matthew Morrison's version! No hate, all love.

And can these kids stop crying please? ENOUGH WITH THE TEARS! I get that everyone is super emotional and being on Glee is at stake, but c'mon! There's a fine line between vulnerability and weakness. 

And Mario, bro. Stop being so self righteous! Damn, kid! You shouldn't point out other people's flaws just because you got called out. Even my boyfriend agrees!


And, in the end, Ryan still shocks me with how unpredictable he is.

Now everyone gets to keep holdin' on. Congratulations, bitches!