Thursday, August 2, 2012

The NEW & IMPROVED Glee Project

This is a conversation between an avid OMGlee Project/ Gleek Project reader and myself. The hilarity here is obnoxiously forward and above all, TRUE. This conversation started as we were discussing the "Perfect" video. I hope everyone finds this as hysterical as we did!

Me: It's my job to critique and over-analyze The Glee Project contenders!
Bryan: You should be a mentor next season. You and Sam. Replace that useless turd Murphy.
Me: HAHAHAHAA. We should!
Bryan: "Today's theme is Shirtless-acality." "What does that even mean?" "Shut up Blake and take off your shirt."
Me: Hahaha! There should SO be a shirtless-acality episode.
Bryan: "Today's theme is Fierce-ability!" That'd be the best homework assignment everrr!
Me: Yes. I'm calling Sam and telling him. Hahahaha.
Bryan: And then Lily Mae can be Nikki.
Bryan: Mentors for season 3: Bob, Sam, and Lily.
Me: And Zach. Can we keep him?
Bryan: AND ZACH. Zach would also be a contestant, lol.
Me: I'll replace Robert, as the new Robert.
Bryan: Yes! Sam gets to replace Ryan. Which is good because he's the most heartless.
Me: I can work with that! I'm too nice, so being the new Robert is perfect.
Bryan: Sam would probably eliminate half the cast the first episode. TROLOLOL.
Me: Lily's the bitch just like Nikki. This is great. NEW SHOW NEXT SUMMER!
Bryan: And then Marissa can come back and be a contestant again. Along with all the other people who were robbed by the hand of Murphy.
Me: Marissa, Charlie, Hannah, etc...
Bryan: It'll be half All-Stars, half newbies, and then also Zach Woodlee.
Me: Umm this is amazing. I'm documenting this conversation.
Bryan: Awesome, send it in to Oxygen and make your own show.
Me: I'll let the head of publicity at Oxygen know about our idea. She can at least spread the word for me.
Bryan: "Oxygen, our time on Tumblr and Twitter has shown us that nobody actually thinks Ryan Murphy is doing a good job of mentoring. My friend Sam Donovan would do a better job in his sleep. Seriously."
Me: Looks like you're on a roll!
Bryan: And also no more time consuming auditions that leave almost everyone crying. I mean, Ryan Murphy just eliminates the best people anyway.
So what's the benefit?
Instead, fans get to beg for spots over Twitter. And then the elite judging panel of Robert, Sam, and Lily will stalk their feeds and other social media profiles to determine their success-ability.
Me: You're perfect.
Bryan: The people with the highest success-ability factor will get a spot on the show. Homework assignment winners will be determined by, as this seems to have the same amount of legitimacy of determining who actually did the best.
Me: You and Sam have the same mind, I swear.
Bryan: I called 'My Life Would Suck Without You' a funeral dirge once when I talked to him, and I think that helped inspire his blog entry about it.
Me: Hahahaha
Bryan: We are fairly similar. But I think I'm nicer, haha. That Abraham entry was vicious.
Me: It was! I tried to be relatively nice in mine. Abraham loves him, though. So Sam can pretty much say anything he wants about him.
Bryan: Abraham can come back and be eliminated first by Sam. And then instead of the call back list, on the very bottom it will have Sam's blog entry taped to it with the words "GO HOME ABRAHAM" written in red and black ink.
Me: Bahahahaha. That would be the most hilarious shit EVER.
Bryan: And then during his 'Keep Holding On', Sam will just yell "YOU SUCK" in the middle of it, while Abraham is crying.
Me: You seriously made my day, bro. I'm crying via laughter.
Bryan: And then during the LCP's....
Me: Oh God...
Bryan: Robert: "Do you read my blog?" Contestant: "No..." Robert: "Go home, bitch."
Me: HAHAHHAAHA I would! Omg hahahaha.
Bryan: Callback list covered with links to your blog and twitter account.
Me: GAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH Yes. I'll just put the callback list ON my blog. To up my numbers.
Bryan: Force them to read it.
Me: It'll be hidden. They have to find it in my posts.
Bryan: "Today's theme is Blog-Ability. You all have to critique EACH OTHER in a blog entry."
Me: This is the best shit I have ever heard of.
Bryan: The Glee Project is not even close to achieving its true potential, Robert. You, Sam, and Lily have to save the show from the mediocre mess it is! LOL.
Me: This is fucking perfect. I'm dying. Can I post this conversation on my blog hahaha? I'm not kidding.
Bryan: Yayyy!
Me: I'm fucking doing it now.

As you can tell, most ideas were Bryan's. This kid is insanely funny! Thanks for reading, and I hope you all ROFL'ed! I plan on drunk-blogging the "Romanticality" episode tonight, so stay tuned. Also, my Abraham Q&A is expected to be in TODAY!

Naturally, follow me on Twitter: @bobfoundGLEEK I love you all!