"This is my favorite part of the song..."

The theme for the week is sexuality, and,

"I think math is sexy, which is a problem."

Michael, I have no problem with anything you find sexy. Even you saying "sexy" is sexy. When is the Shirtless-ality episode?

And if you keep wearing vests and the color purple, I may die. I don't think I stand alone when I say that I pretty much think Michael epitomizes sexuality. Maybe it's his uncertainty in the matter, the sense of naivety he radiates, or his subtle shyness. I think he knows what he's doing and he is trying to fool everyone. Not me, Michael. I know what you're trying to do!  And if you're secretly hinting that you want to have a one on one cuddle session with me: MESSAGE RECEIVED. 

"I wanted to pick Michael, but I'm scared to be alone with him... for obvious reasons."

Yea girl, me too. But I would take the opportunity, that's the difference. Pshhht.

So, in the studio, where they were recording the "Moves Like Jagger/ Milkshake" mash-up, Michael was having trouble focusing on the lyrics. 

"Nikki, I'm trying to focus, but Mario is making me fucking tone deaf."

Calm down, buddy! You'll be fine! Maybe....

"Actually, can you just leave?"

".................."

"Shit. Was I letting my crazy hormones cloud my judgement again?"

YES BITCH! And I don't mean that in the way that I usually do. Sorry 'bout it.

Ok, so once again, I know I am not only speaking for myself when I say that the "Moves/Milkshake" mash-up was fantastic. I think everyone brought the sex, with an exception or two. Mario: there was nothing sexual about your performance, but this post isn't about you. I may or may not address that later, if you ever give me something to work with. And Tyler, honey... I got nothing from you either, but your circumstances are different. I applaud you for giving it all that you had. 

I used this photo in my last post, but forrealz. Look at that face. If that doesn't scream "SEX", then I don't know what does. Ok, so let's move on to the reveal of the bottom three. I screamed at the TV like ten times. I was so shocked. Alright, so they were:

Tyler, Michael, and Charlie.

Was I the ONLY one who was so taken back that I almost got up and left the room? Tyler, I understand. Charlie, I get that, too, because of his shenanigans in the booth and at the shoot. But, Michael? NO FUCKING WAY. Mario could have totally replaced him in the bottom three if we're basing our decisions on sexuality. That was the theme of this episode, no? 

Whatever, moving on....

They chose "Lucky" by Jason Mraz for Michael's last chance performance song. I think that is a great song for him, but it's a song I absolutely despise. When Chord and Diana sang that at Glee Live last summer, that was when I got up for a beer. I'll put it that way. 

Now, on to his last chance performance, which was a trainwreck, to say the least. It kind of reminded me of when Damian sang "Jessie's Girl" for Ryan last season. And we all remember that, I'm sure. I want to be Jessie's girl, too. Actually I want to be Ryan's wife, but who's keeping track, anyway?

I've noticed that these two hour practice segments sort of turn into an Oprah spin-off. If anything, it turns into a two hour reflection of their whole lives. Calm down, kids. Although you're doing a lot less crying than in Vulnerability week. But, that speaks for itself.

Let's recap, shall we?

Starts off beautifully, and I wish I could say that's how it ends, too. But I must speak the truth. Although he forgot the words and pulled a Damian, the cute factor really brought up his chances, I think. As bad as it was, he was eye-fucking me and/or Ryan the whole time. I'm sure that is why they kept him around. 

Until next time, folks! Follow me on twitter, @bobfoundGLEEK. Also, head over to my Facebook page, and "like" it! www.facebook.com/tgp2omg THANKS!